In My experience, fear and desire go hand in hand. What an individual fears is on many occasions something they desire. And vice versa. As you may have noticed this week I am focusing on fear, as I think it is an important part of your experience with a Domme. Fear plays a massive part on how we react to stimuli, how we perceive danger vs pleasure. So why would it not play a huge part in our desires? Our desires, our deep desires, the ones we do not like to talk about, often come from a place of fear. Fear and desire go together. They create a delicious ebb and flow between emotions, reactions and submission.
Fear and Desire in Fantasy Life
In our fantasies, in our imaginations we have the ability to create any scenario and the fear we feel, is less “real” making it safe to explore without worrying about the consequences. Think about it for a moment. If you reflect enough, find one of those fantasies you “want” to live out but haven’t yet, is fear not the biggest reason you have not lived it out? And would it not also be true to say that fear, the fear within the experience is what adds the spice to the fantasy? Fear and desire, fear and fantasy, fear plays a big role.
A huge fantasy that comes up when I work with someone, probably the most popular, is the idea of total Domination over that person’s life. Every action, every desire, every breath needs permission from Me. The desire for this ultimate submission is strong for many submissive people. But the fear of a total lack of control makes them hesitant. The fear of the experience, the fear of not knowing what your Dominant will request of you, is a HUGE part of the desire. Two different fears, two different ways they can manifest.
Best Representation of Fear and Desire Working Together
There are many fantasies and scenarios that show the playful interaction between fear and desire. The best representation, rather the easiest to see the flow between fear and desire is blackmail. Blackmail is a massive fetish. It represents a good portion of My sessions, not all but My having an interrogation fetish means it is easy to add to sessions, but I digress. Blackmail is based on the fear of getting caught. The heart racing, autonomic response to fear heightens the desire, makes the experiences that much more pleasurable. Fear in this instance is a tool.
What fear do you have that goes with your desire? Where does fear and desire work for you?
Maîtresse Ambre Jade