I have an extreme passion for chastity. I love every aspect of keeping my submissives chaste. Being a Keyholder is more than just holding a key in your hands. There are time when it can be a challenge, even a chore but the end result is always fantastic.
What is a Keyholder?
A Keyholder is generally a Domme, Mistress or Master who holds the physical representation of your chastity (the key) on them. The power over the submissive’s orgasm or lack there of, is completely hers. She determines for herself whether or not he cums. For some Dommes, the penis now belongs to her. Access is restricted to her desires and her desires alone. That is not to say holding the key is sufficient enough. There are certain requirements for both the sub and the Domme.
There are certain time requirements for the Keyholder and the chaste individual. I once calculated the amount of time each key I hold represents. It is a significant chunk of my week. Chastity is an active process for me. I like being very involved with my caged toys. As a Keyholder you have to be ready to devote the time and the effort. The longer someone is caged, the needier they become. Some of us thrive on being needy but you have to be prepared for the time that represents (within reason). As someone who is caged, you will find yourself devoting a lot of time to your new status as chaste and a desire to be in your Keyholder’s presence.
Play and Chastity Games
Play and tease are important. Without them, time spent locked can be boring. Boredom does not a good slave make. And let’s be honest, it can be boring for the Keyholder as well. I always find it thrilling when someone is locked for me but I find the experience lacking without some good ole tease and denial. Bringing my slave to the brink of release and then shutting them down. There are limitless possibilities for games and play time. Find the right balance for you and your slave. Experiment, if they are locked long enough, they will love just about anything 😉
Physical Check Ins
It is important, and can even be used as a game, to do regular physical check ins. There are some cages might fit poorly or need to be adjusted over time. I love physical inspections, it can add a little spice and play to the experience. Cleaning, air time, making sure there are no marks or chaffing. This is part of you duties as a Keyholder, they are locked for you, you should watch for signs of things not working well.
Emotional Check Ins
Watching for signs is more than just physical sign of trauma or damage. You have to do some emotional checking. This is especially true with long term chastity. There can be some extreme emotional reactions that come up, sometimes with little warning. These should be dealt with, discussed and addressed. The caged slave is responsible for keeping their Keyholder informed. The Keyholder is responsible for creating a safe space where the slave may bring these feelings up. For me, I prefer scheduling check ins. It gives a window where a slave can stop being a slave for a short time and express themselves without prejudice. This is extremely important for those who are new to being submissive or new to chastity. The routine creates a safe place.
Obviously this list is not complete and there are many places where one can add their own twists. Remember that communication is key, and that Keyholding is more than just the physical manipulation of their key.
Two blogs I have been thoroughly enjoying: