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Doormat or Submissive; What Power Exchange is Not

Doormat or Submissive; What Power Exchange is Not

Power exchange is not about an individual becoming a doormat. As a submissive, you do have the ability to both refuse and negotiate how sessions will come to being. This idea that by becoming a submissive or even just identifying as a submissive means you have no rights, no say in what happens to you, is flawed. I genuinely believe that this idea that power exchange means the submissive should be doormat in order to be a “proper” submissive, grew…

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Swingers and Fetishists

Swingers and Fetishists

For the purposes of this article, I am using Fetishist and practitioners of BDSM interchangeably. This is not always the case but in this instance it applies to the BDSM community and fetishist feels like a better word than Domme, sub, Dom, slave, puppy, Owner, Mistress, … the list goes on. Thus fetishist as the term used here. It’s interesting. There seems to have always been a certain animosity between swingers and fetishists. Even with a rather significant overlap in…

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Conversations on BDSM

Conversations on BDSM

With the fucking joke BDSM “themed” piece of shit book and what I am assuming will also be a shitty film, 50 Shades of Grey gaining so much popularity, it is impossible to have a casual conversation without BDSM coming up. Now, I live a life where the majority of the people within my social circle are either proponents of the BDSM lifestyle, live the lifestyle or at least grasp the basic understanding of the D/s relationship. I am not about…

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What’s in a Name? Titles in BDSM

What’s in a Name? Titles in BDSM

What’s in a name? The use of titles in BDSM and other kink communities is extremely common. As they should be. This piece is by no means a criticism of those who like using titles or who feel titles are important part of their relationships. I adore titles, when they are used properly. Very often, when first contacting Me, people refer to Me as Mistress. I have no problems with that. It is a non issue but what have I accomplished,…

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Day 7: What’s Your Favourite BDSM Toy

Day 7: What’s Your Favourite BDSM Toy

I decided to add in that this is My favourite BDSM toy and not just toy in general. I have some favourite toys for personal use and some that are wonderful for sex sessions. These toys are separate (though not necessarily) from My BDSM toys. For the purposes of this day, we are going to talk about the toys I like to use when I am feeling a little sadistic. My sadistic side comes out more and more frequently, I…

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